One can't eat a proper dinner with one of them without feeling self-conscious about the whole situation. The entire restaurant seems to assume you are a couple and vendors with roses love to thrust their bouquets in your face. Argh.

Of course I am paranoid. But it does not change the fact that some people do get the wrong impression when there is a guy out with a girl.

Oh and I do resent the fact that people with other halves do not have as much time to spend with single friends as single friends with single friends. It is a sad fact of life. I do get jealous that Paladin has to spend time with his companion, or Mage has to interrupt an entertaining narrative to baby his girlfriend. But that is just me being spoilt, selfish and egoistic. After all, it isn't as if I am as important as their girlfriends on their social scale. Bleah. But that's little attention seeking me.

Yes. I know. I was the child that had problems sharing.

So, the solution is: I need to expand my social circle. But I am already having difficulty allocating time to my work, my miniscule social circle and Warcraft III to add in "note to expand social circle". Especially when I am the sort that takes an awfully long time to know someone or feel comfortable with them. I am now working on feeling comfortable with Mage. So yes. I am making some leeway here.

Alright. I am in a whiny mood tonight because

• I am still sick
• It's freaking cold tonight
• My hands are trembling
• My essays are not finished
• I played Warcraft over the weekend, until my nose bled and I had a raging fever (when I was supposed to be resting) so now I am paying for it

A little off the tangent here but ... It is kind of amusing to watch two guys get phone calls simultaneously from their girlfriends. You see them whip their mobiles out, and their body language morphs instantaneously from warlike to sheepish "I'm not at the LAN cafe playing Warcraft tonight." Their bodies sort of cave into a protective curl and their heads just ever so slightly start to disappear into their shoulders.

But of course such amusement is short-lived. I want a boyfriend that I can nag at in that way. Of course, I would not be the one nagging. It will probably be me shrinking into myself and trying to make excuses on why my nose is bleeding but I am not at home resting.

Yes, it is lonely right now. And quite, quite, depressing. Sh*t. I just made myself teary again.

I think I shall go read my Dracula readings. It will entertain me somewhat. Because the readings are all about sex anyway. Literature nerds have no sex life, which could explain why they read repressed sexual desire into every piece of literature written.

Whatever. And I am still pretty sick, so I shall not be able to muster myself to write daily. I'm sorry. But there's not a lot going on in my life right now which is interesting. Unless you wish to hear about the blood in the mucus I blow out etc.

But Warcraft III, now, that is another matter. Want to hear about my sheep theory?