I finger it absently, each time when I am in the enclosed sphere of calming influence created by the shower, tracing the fading tapestry of myriad emotions. Stroke after stroke after stroke. Fear. Apprehension. Curiosity. Reminiscence. Light-headedness. Hysterical humour. Human resilience. The evasive courage of submitting to the old childhood monster of steel needles.

My eyes will slowly gravitate towards my finger's motion and gradually, realization of my mind's wandering path will seep in. Under the roaring thunder of water cascading down, washing away the grime of the day, I am rendered blind and deaf leaving only the faintest sense of touch; the mind frees itself to ponder.��

The blood test has revealed that I am suffering from a hormonal disorder called Hyperthyroidism. The thyroid gland works too hard and causes the metabolism rate to speed up. Conclusively, my weight should drop drastically. Evidently it did, but not by much. I have lost 6 kilograms and I thought it was my exercise and diet regime. Drat. I am the same weight as I was when I was 19. And it seems my weight loss has reached a plateau.

Well on the bright side, it seems that at least I have not been stacking on the pounds, considering the amount of food I have been polishing off. Well, in the same vein, a higher metabolism rate means I have an increase of appetite, which accounts for me feeling perpetually hungry all the time. This also explains my cravings for seafood (which I normally dislike). I am relieved, simply because it is not sure gluttony, a mental defect, which drives my peckish behaviour but a more acceptable biological one.

It accounts for the gastric problems and nausea; the shakiness and trembling I usually associate with caffeine and the all too frequent hunger migraines (among the whole plethora of other migraine factors). It is the palpitations of my heart which occur frequently, the shortness of breath just doing activities that I have done a thousand times with no problems.

It accounts for my heightened irritability and sensitivity, in normal times it seems all too often, exacerbating in these times where I cannot even maintain a barrier that some of my friends are able to put up in the face of adversity, imagined or otherwise. It is the Berlin Wall collapsing.

Well, what clued me into the fact that something was wrong with my biological functions?

The increased lethargy that hangs like a fog, clouding my mind. Even now, I have to stop and think for a long period of time, just to finish this sentence. Slow thinking processes hamper me and it feels like a gauze curtain has hidden my muse's beautiful face away from me. I can barely see it; she is smiling, I know she is, and wanting to see her, I rip the gauze away and yet there is another, another and another.