It is very pink this time... partially because of the new theme. I thought something sweet and girly was appropriate. It has a carnival feel to it. In case the layout is confusing, the little line of squares located at the top is the menu. I still have problems with the service provider about my web hosting space so I cannot upload my jpegs yet. I don�t have that many fancy doodads yet so that has to be kept on hold while I wrangle some picture editing program from my daddy.

Nor was I able to create those little boxes of text that pop up when you hold the mouse cursor over it. I know the theory behind it if I did upload images but nothing I could find even hinted on what they are called or whether I could do the same for non-jpegs/gifs like lines of text or tables. I can�t change my cursor too� eeks. It goes to show I need to learn more about HTML.

On a more reflective note, the reason why I decided to change my theme is because the last "document in madness" theme is largely irrelevant and not as applicable to me these days.

My moods are currently pretty stable and do not switch so often. When I was really bad, my moods cycle really fast through from maniacal happiness, irritating chirpiness to downright suicidal depressive tendencies in the short space of a few hours. I might resurrect that old "mad Ophelia" or �Delirium� if I find myself embroiled in that sort of lunacy again.

But not right now. I am quite cheerful these days, nothing drama-queenie-like, but in the more normal non-obtrusive range of emotional displays.

Add that to the fact that I am feeling my grand old age of my twenty-one years and yet still feeling like a child who is unaware of things. The world is still my candy store and while there are still shopkeepers I can do without, I still feel small and insignificant but eager to demand more.

Perhaps it is because I am home and I get pampered by my parents and babied by my BF. I don�t know. What I do know is that I still have a long way to go in terms of coming to seek an identity or identities, if you will. I have a lot more to learn. I am a Miranda who hungers for the new brave wondrous world, despite knowing about the dross of such beauty yet refuses to acknowledge it.

I love The Silver Metal Lover. It is a book with a timeless Romeo and Juliet motif but there are other darker elements to it. There is the Kore(Persephone)-Demeter motif, the metamorphosis of girl to woman which was the original incarnation of my current theme. The finding of an identity. However, I think I am not ready yet. To change from one bright form to another. Not prepared. Not yet.

And that�s a sobering thought.