And by lemon juice, I mean the pure 100 percent natural bounty that comes from little cheery yellow citrus fruits, not the artificial liquid you pour out from plastic bottles. There is nothing more heartening than the whiff of natural lemon oil as you clean. And the thought that they make everything sparkle, with the occasional happy fragrance drifting from these things, makes my little obsessive-compulsive heart sing.

Yes, I sound like a bad advertisement for washing powder or cleaning detergent. But it still doesn�t change the fact that lemon juice is the ninth wonder of the clean and sparkling world! Surely even the most neutral observer can feel the inspirational cheer that arises from the scent of lemons. I have never heard of a phobia of lemons.

At the rate I am using lemon juice to clean my surroundings, the freckles on my hand will start disappearing (hooray!). Yes, anything white in my laundry basket goes through buckets of lemon juice and water. My tables are cleaned in such a solution, my glasses, my teapots, any cleanable surface. If I could manage it, I would wash myself with lemon juice everyday.

Of course that would be taking it a little too far. Everyday, that is. But the occasional bath in lemon juice should be quite nice. With honey and milk. (Did you get the sarcasm there? I sure didn�t. But I did intend that last statement to be sarcastic. Oh never mind.)

I think I will start on Paladin�s fridge soon. Lemon juice and cold tea will soon clear his bare and empty fridge of odours and nasty germ things that I am sure reside in the cold and almost inhabitable environment of his fridge. Bwahahah. Then onto the common kitchen fridge. Then Strawberry�s fridge. They need to be cleaned! Do you know how unappealing is food that is kept in a stale-smelling fridge?

Lemon juicers of the world unite!

I think I am a little insane. I wonder if lemon juice will cure insanity. Or is too much lemon oil bad for the brain?