And because I feel slightly guilty at feeling irritated by her, I do not have the heart to converse much with the other two, both of whom have nothing in common with me.

I suppose I should be glad for it. Sitting in the car, watching her, no hearing her babble in a kiddy voice to the other friend in the car, while ignoring the other two personages that are with her, I realise that I could never cope with her. Two multiples cannot co-exist, not when most of one rubs most of the other the wrong way.

I used to think I owed her deeply for pulling me through one of the worse morasses of my life, but recently, I think I have repaid her in full. I do not have to take her nonsense and tantrums when I absolutely refuse to accede to her wishes.

So yes. Another lost friend I'm afraid. Someone to cut loose simply because we have outgrown each other, or she has become one of those "toxic friends" you read so much of and half-believe in.

Sometimes the fault does lie in me. In this case I was guilty of shunning her last year and the half, but simply because she loaded more stress on me at a point in time when I was already terribly stressed. And it drives me insane when people speak in half sentences and glib answers without actually saying anything. Not to mention that she was going through a rough patch last year and only wanted my company so that she could pick a fight with me to let off some steam.

Bah.

And the tantrums she threw when she was inconsiderate enough not to inform me that she was coming back (she had failed once too many times) six months later and found out that I had gave the duty-free cigarettes she requested away to Strawberry. Perhaps I was wrong to do so, but I thought she was not returning to Australia, and I am not a smoker.

Bah. Maybe she reads this. Whatever. If you are, "I know myself", in your very own words. And I know I get physically sick most of the time before meeting you or after a meeting. I have an allergic reaction to you. Sometimes it is a mild one, so mild I just shrug it off, but most of the time... I think the strength of my reaction speaks for itself.

And to make my day worse, I barely tolerated the film Signs. Do not worry, there are no spoilers ahead. This discontentment with the film was because someone else in the Diaryland community had ruined it for me, without warning. I knew all the twists and turns. So the heightened suspense, the drama and the angst were lost on me. I suffered, as Gibson's character suffered, albeit differently.

Bah.

And when I got home, Paladin and Scarecrow were already in the LAN cafe playing Warcraft III while they were supposed to be waiting for my return before going to the LAN place. And then Paladin expected me to take a bus down to Chinatown at 11 in the night to join them. What?

My day is ruined. If looks could radiate killing rays of light, my notebook would have been fried. I have a good mind not to play tomorrow just to see Paladin grovel. But that would be cutting my own nose to spite my face. Besides, the last annoyance was merely a childish outburst. And possibly the first annoyance to boot. See. I know when I am just being a spoilt little brat.