Bah. I forgot, he is guilty of insensitivity and anything will just roll off his back like water on a duck. So why bother? After all he will just attribute the coldness and anger today as "another one of her mood swings", interpretating being polite as being nice to him. If he doesn't realise that there is a difference in being pleasant and happy with someone and just mere superficial sugarcoating brought about by Emily Post, I can't help him. Besides didn't he say once, "Birds of a feather flock together", and beraded me for tolerance and adapting myself to suit a friend.

Yah. He never got the point I was putting across. That different people needed different approaches. Some friends enjoy being teased, others just take the teasing to heart. It depends on the individual.

There I answered part of my own question, but part of my hurt stems from the fact that he pretended to have the same feathers I had, when he was "not ever, definitely" interested in me, and I thought he was just a really good (but amiable boyfriend material) guy for a platonic friendship.

Eh? Yes, I have crushes all the time, but I don't necessary choose to love someone. Let's face it, we don't work on our desires all at once or this world will be a society without rules and regulations. Hobbes and Locke said something to that effect. I am not alert enough even to paraphrase. Bah.

Yes, it hasoccurred to me that the tense atmosphere between Paladin and I is due to a few things. I have a crush on him, the exam atmosphere, the fact that his girlfriend is resentful of my presence and so he has less time to spare even for a friend. But I have thought back to times when my mind was not clouded by the "rebound" attraction that occurs when one severs a relationship. And even then, there were always times like this, and then I would feel better enough to say, "Ah, he's a friend, I shouldn't lose him" or feel guilty and think it probably is my fault and make it up with him because it is better to have a one big happy family rather than two people conducting a cold war.

Alright, this tirade made me realise I have still quite a bit of soul-searching to do. Still not as repentant as my conscience wants me to.

And yes, I am working on the questions:] Some of them were toughies!!!