I paraphrase, "All fools are knights, in love, and all knights are fools in love." Or something along those lines. Where is my Florian to my Jonquil? I only have a drunken fool to play my sweet sir-knight. If he is a fool.

I hate myself. I detest this whole waiting game. This whole waiting game I detest. Some palm reader told me I will have two relationships in my university life and about everything else she has been correct, why not this?

The problem is, one relationship is an "important" one, the other is only there for fun, frivolity and sex. Wouldn't it be highly ironic if my relationship with the Capt was the "minor" one. I could laugh hysterically for an hour over this.

The next change comes when I am 24. Oh yes, I will have a relationship when I am 24. Oh goody. In relative terms, it isn't that long. After all I did pass a partially merry two years with Capt so far away. So far away.

Loops, circles, walls, walls, walls.

I have no idea what I am rambling on about. I need to go do work.

I will speak on this again, preferably in a better state of mind.

Yes, I know I am not very stable emotionally or mentally these days.