So many broken promises, and this time I have it in writing.

And yet, the mind is a fragile thing, and already I am making excuses for his inattentiveness and lacklustre performance as a boyfriend.

Performance. To what? My impossible standards?

Surely the Beau's current standard of attentiveness would fall short of anyone's expectations? Especially when held to the light that our relationship will be a long distance one, and a short absence of three weeks has him placing me (as usual) at the bottom of all his priorities?

I already know that I come a shabby fifth after his family (very proper and fitting), himself (understandable), his work (I suppose) and his friends (are for forever).

But now? Surely he would relent somewhat and actually remember to write?

And now, all I can remember is her photo in his wallet, her cooked lunches for him at work, at a time when they are ostensibly just "friends".

What a sad state of matters.

Not to mention that almost every other male I know woould have severed all ties with the last girlfriend if he was hankering after another girl.

So what does this tell me? Especially when he has a past history of being unable to commit, and easily swayed in his affections.

I swear, I brought this upon myself.

Now I have to walk away from it.

No, more like forcibly slice off all the rotting chunks of my heart and hope enough remains to jumpstart my life again.

I feel stupid. And very very angry. And aimless as well. Sitting here crying won't solve anything. I have cried at least twice every day for the last month or so. How many more tears can I cry?