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The penitent man kneels Oct. 31, 2001 ] 10:41 PM Well, I wrote an entry earlier on in the day... and then decided to delete it before even submitting it. My mood has been mercurial for the past couple of days. It doesn't help that I am exhausted and am unable to concentrate on anything at all. Even stopping lacrymosity. Such disability is terrible; considering that I am questioning myself more than usual. Such internal reflection creates a vicious cycle as I find myself wanting. I find myself longing, for a better, or perceived better past me; not this monster that needs extreme willpower to sheathe steel claws before they cut someone up in vituperative rage or hurt myself in vicious, virulent self directed guilt and anger. wax ] wane