Trickles of thought
Feb. 16, 2003 ] 12:26 AM
I have pondered upon the ramifications of not writing as regularly as I have done in previous times. One reason I came up with was the fact that perhaps I have matured in such a way that I no longer feel the need to detail all the cushy mushy bits of my puppy love on a day by day basis, or to reiterate the stupid flare-ups that happen from time to time.

But sometimes I think I am just running away from reality. By not succumbing to the free-flow of expression, my Freudian slips, my innermost desires, fears, and subconscious, logical suggestions do not surface. In other words, I am attempting to control the reality that I refuse to see, by controlling the means that enables me to gauge the direction and longevity of the relationship.

***

Do you like the new layout? I designed it with the term "in nuce" (in a nutshell) in mind, with the intention of making a play on "nutshell", i.e. yours truly is the nut and this is her shell that she retreats to. But as per usual, my moodswings kicked in and I changed the theme abruptly to the mosiac you currently see.

Sailing To Byzantium.

That is no country for old men. The young
In one another's arms, birds in the trees
- Those dying generations - at their song,
The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,
Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long
Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect.

An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.

O sages standing in God's holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing-masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.

Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.


Byzantium's art was stylised and almost impersonal in the service of a spiritual reality.

***

The only flaw about this design is the fact that some of my poems have to be seen as a whole entity and the reader has to scroll down to read more if anything goes beyond a reasonable sized paragraph. I suppose it doesn't matter because I transfer a copy to my other journal, and also because the muse has been rather quiet these days. Like Louise Bogan. Her period of creativity only lasted throughout her twenties and early thirties. After that, it dwindled to a trickle. Depressing isn't it?
wax ] wane
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