Anyway, I had a long talk with Sweet Teeth last night. Sorted things out. I'm still stressed but strangely the old adage is true, "share your problems and they will be halved":P Or something like that.

Well my parents know I'm ill too. Asked me to get chicken essence... here in Australia:P!!?? Are we kidding ourselves here? Eh....*bulging eyes* (I think I have been watching too much anime recently) One of the reasons why I'm stressed is because I'm broke and I don't know how to tell my parents:( 2000 a semester... gone even before half a semester is over...:(

Anyway, Sweet Teeth and Hamlet came back from their trip. Unfortunately for them it had been raining so they were unable to enjoy much of the natural attractions. Oh and they were nice enough to bring back rosemary jelly:) Heh.

Yes I know I SOUND cheerier but I'm not... although I must psyche myself to actually think I am... You are what you think... blah blah blah...

Sianz.......

Oh and one reason I am stressed is because I always had a hard time with sibling rivalry... took me years to get used to the brat and even now I have just mellowed. We still get into shouting fights. With Hamlet as my "big brother" I question myself why I dislike two of the three girls he liked. :( I still don't like them.

The thing is, my gut feeling when I first met them was: I don't think we would ever be buddies but at least we will be polite. I wouldn't have been friends with them, merely nodding acquaintances, if he hadn't pushed the entire group to go beyond our comfort zone and enclose the newcomers... which was an unfortunate thing because the original group is on the verge of splintering:( because the newcomers seem to be freeloaders or with annoying habits of hygiene and other stuff.

Okay, too melodramatic:P Or maybe too critical. Hey that isn't my opinion alone!!!

Back to the original topic... Yes I don't like Princess because of personality clashes, plus I hate freeloaders and it seems that she is... Although I must admit when I am better placed in my own life, feel happier, I tend to ignore such minor things... when I am stressed everything gets blown out of the water.

On the other hand I am grudgingly happy (if that is possible) that Hamlet is finally getting somewhere with her. Heh, although I am would be somewhat sad if he did. On the other hand I might not. There are some unspoken wounds between us. My own skewed perception or truth?

That is the major problem plaguing me. Am I seeing too much in too little as I am wont to do? Or am I justified? I am right 90% of the time... or is it because I make things happen because I think it is... or is this one of the rare times I am wrong:(

Hah. In any case, she called him. So I guess he finally has a chance to win her after hanging onto her coat-tails of "I don't know", "I'm kind of going out with someone", "I like you as a friend but I don't know whether I will like you as a lover"...

Just for the record I thought at the beginning she did show signs of liking him or she could be leading him on. More of the first actually with touches of the second as she was still "kind of going out with someone". And I was the most positive!!! Although I must admit I have other ideas too which I will not rehash because it just gets me mad at the world being so unfair. I hate being fair:( Not justified since I am biased... I am rambling aren't I? Bleah.

Oh well. My temper is quick nowadays as evident from the bitching I did in full view of the whole dining hall (okay that table that I hate) abt Zynosure :P

Temper temper.

Sianz.

Maybe I should vent my spleen on the BF:P He makes me more mad though. OOOPS, that's the spolit brat talking. Still I reckon Hamlet would have a chance like I told him aeons ago... You never know if you don't try... which he did... to everyone's irritation because then he would come whinge to us whenever she kicked him (metaphorically). I can't believe that I was the last idiot to actually break away from that whinging! Everyone else had given up because if we listen to or if we offer advice like he wants us to, he still takes his own path that he knows it's wrong, gets kicked and then the whole bloody cycle comes round to point one again! Bleah. I suppose unrequited love brings out the worst in you. Or he might reach a resolution, tell everyone he will be strong after we spend like 5 hours listening and talking to him. He promises himself to go cold turkey on his addiction to her and goes crawling back (literally) the next day to her because she smiles at him.

Okay maybe I am feeling undervalued here as a friend :( Selfish me. Yes but I do resent it when you ask for help, get it and throw it away. Maybe not. I tend to be blind where my own faults are concerned. Making mountains out of molehills.

Still I did get my BF in the same way that I did:) (Now I know I have been watching too much anime... "that I did" is a typically anime character talking:P)... Maybe that's why I gave up last. Ever the optimistic matchmaker:P "Emma" eh...:)

Sianz